Awkward Moment #4 – Modern Teenagers

My grandfather always said, “Those crazy kids today say the darndest things!”


Over the years and in between showbiz gigs (as we who are hip call them) I’ve worked as a high school substitute teacher. In one classroom, a stuffed monkey (allegedly left by the regular teacher) was hanging from the room’s prominently displayed American flag.


Said monkey was clinging to the flag with his long arms. The kids were pointing at the monkey, whispering and laughing. I overheard one of them pose a question to which I, as a responsible substitute, felt compelled to answer. “Why would a monkey be on a flag anyway?” asked the curious student. “Because he’s just so excited to be an American,” I said, mentally patting myself on the back for my quick wit.


The room exploded with laughter. “Hmmm,” I arrogantly thought, “Although I AM quite witty, the joke didn’t seem to warrant that much laughter. My delivery must be impeccable today!” That’s when I noticed that some of the kids looked shocked at my retort and so I took a closer look at the monkey.


It was then that I noticed that the flag pole was unfortunately extending outward from in between said monkey’s legs and therefore…yes,  I had unwittingly made a joke about a monkey’s “excitement” to a room full of 14 year olds…a joke not only inappropriate, but much less patriotic then I intended….


Lesson: When teaching high school, take note of any items in the classroom that could be seen as remotely phallic and avoid mentioning said items and please don’t mention those crazy kids today to grandpa…. AWKWARD….


For more high school Awkward Moments click here